Improving Your Self Belief and Self Esteem
There are many reasons why you might be struggling with a loss of confidence or self-esteem. Maybe you’ve been made redundant turned away from a job that you interviewed for and believed you were sure to get, experienced the breakup of a relationship, or been involved in a traumatic situation. Or perhaps you’ve just not been your usual self recently.
Whatever has led to your loss of confidence and self-esteem, it’s important to first acknowledge this loss and recognise how it could be impacting your quality of life. Admitting how you feel isn’t always easy, but it’s an important step toward starting to believe in yourself again.
What are confidence and self-esteem?
The terms confidence and self-esteem are closely linked, but they aren’t the same.
Self-confidence is having confidence in one’s own powers and judgment. You know your strengths and weaknesses and have a feeling of control in your life. Examples of self-confidence include having the confidence to make tough decisions or give presentations in front of large groups of people.
Self-esteem refers to self-acceptance, and how we view ourselves. For example, how valuable we see our place in the world. The word “esteem” means to have great respect or high regard. So, when our self-esteem is high, we consider ourselves highly. When our self-esteem is low, we regard ourselves poorly. Put simply, self-esteem is our evaluation of ourselves as human beings.
While the two terms might sound similar, they’re quite different. You can still be self-confident but have low self-esteem, and vice versa. In a nutshell, self-confidence is predominantly linked to a gauge of trust in our abilities, while self-esteem is more closely linked to our sense of self. But both can influence how we see others and how we interact with the world.
Some of the common characteristics of a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem are…
Avoiding social situations
Being depressed or sad
Comparing yourself negatively to others
Having difficulty trusting your own judgment
Feeling anxious
Feeling inadequate
Having a low mood
Finding it difficult to accept compliments.
Neglecting your own needs and your emotional ones
Why might we develop low confidence or self-esteem?
There are a vast number of reasons why someone might develop low self-confidence or self-esteem. But some common examples include…
Early disapproval from parents or other influential people (such as teachers), or disapproval at any age from people who we trust and are close to, such as friends or partners.
Ongoing stressful life events, for example, problems at work and/or financial or relationship issues. When something important in our life isn’t going well, we can start to hone in on what we might have done wrong, which can affect how we see ourselves and how capable we feel we are.
Fear of the unknown and worrying about what might happen if we make a mistake. This can stop us from doing the things we want to do because we believe the consequences will be too embarrassing or painful.
Going through a life-altering illness affects our ability to do certain things.
Being bullied or intimidated by people around us – for example, by colleagues at work or a partner at home.
In all personal growth and in every relationship, the key to loving ourselves and each other is becoming aware of the roots of our actions.
Want help to overcome your limited self-belief or beliefs.
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It has the potential to be life-changing.
Remember, small changes can have a big impact and you will be amazed by the positive change it will have on how you feel.
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