Hurt or not to hurt.

When we hurt someone, why do we diminish its sting by telling ourselves we "didn't mean to." This statement is often a catch-all for unconscious behaviour and perhaps for what we're unready to take responsibility for. It's like an "I don’t know" response from a teenager, a crypto comment meant to deter us from any further discovery. However, "I didn't mean it" has become so common that we have come to accept it as true.

Let's look a little deeper. All actions speak louder and truer than our words. When our words don't match our actions, it is our actions that parade our truest motive. Sorry, not sorry doesn't cut it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" or "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to hurt you." And then the person goes along their merry way like nothing ever happened.

The biggest culprits of hurtful behaviour are unprocessed emotions, unconscious pain, and unmet needs. What we may intend by "I didn't mean it" is that it wasn't instigated by conscious thought or motive. But if we look deeper, we often find hidden feelings or unmet needs that we simply haven't acknowledged yet.

We may be hurting ourselves when we hurt another person. An unkind act upon another can be an unconscious way to communicate our pain, to send an SOS that we are hurting. It may or may not have been that particular person who hurt us.

However, even under those circumstances, the words may have roots of unresolved emotions or pain that squeak out when impulse control is lowered.

In all personal growth and in every relationship, the key to loving ourselves and each other is becoming aware of the roots of our actions.

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It has the potential to be life changing.

Remember, small changes can have a big impact and you will be amazed by the positive change it will have on how you feel.

Hapus i siarad/ trafod yn Gymraeg